Category Archives: sex

Sexual Abuse: There is Restoration from Disgrace!

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There is an advertisement in Chicago that reads “Sometimes there are wounds that can’t be seen” in reference to soldiers who have a variety of syndromes of stress and trauma from war.  It is true there are many wounds that cannot be seen.  There is another type of would I want to focus on, sexual wounds.

I know there are people who have suffered sexual trauma, abuse, rape, and other forms of repulsive sins.  If you are one of them, know there is restoration.  God knit you together in your mother’s womb, and can re-knit you, restore what was lost, from the inside out.

There is a book I want to extend to you, Rid of my Disgrace, by Lindsey and Justin Holcomb.  An interviewer of the author asked him, “You want something to happen out there in people’s lives.  What is the one impact you long for most of all?”

“The disgrace that results from sexual assault has a way of grinding people down and heaping huge burdens on them.  Because of it people feel lonely, filthy, worthless, repulsive, hopeless, and unwanted.  Our hope is that God will use the clear Gospel message of the book to eliminate that disgrace and its effects.  What victims need is for God to be strong when they are weak and to be close to the brokenhearted.  We want people to experience God fulfilling his promises to them.  We pray that God uses the book to apply the grace from Jesus deeper than the wounds people have experienced.”

– Justin Holcomb, author Rid of my Disgrace

An article on Grace and Disgrace in light of sexual abuse.

An excerpt from the article:

“This post is written to sexual assault victims, not about them. What happened to you was not your fault. You are not to blame. You did not deserve it. You did not ask for this. You should not be silenced. Nobody had the right to violate you. You were supposed to be treated with dignity and respect. You are not damaged goods. You are not worthless. You do not have to pretend like nothing happened. Healing can happen, and there is hope. While all of this is true, you may still feel the effects of the sexual assault—disgrace, a deep sense of defilement and filth that is encumbered with shame….

The Bible begins with creation in harmony, unity, and peace, and it ends with a restored creation. In between these two “bookends” unfolds the drama of redemption. Salvation was needed because of the tragedy of human rebellion that resulted in disgrace and destruction. Because God is faithful and compassionate, he restores his fallen creation and responds with grace and redemption. This good news is fully expressed in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, and its scope is “as far as the curse is found.”

Buy the book here.

I don’t pretend there is a quick fix to the deep matters of the heart, but I pray this may aid in your healing and restoration.

Whats the big deal with Jesus and sex? REVISED

If God ate the food that he created, why is it such a big deal that Jesus could not have participated in a sexual act, which he also created.

The question really is, does it compromise Jesus as who he was? Fully God, yet fully man? Because if it doesn’t, then no I have no problem considering that. But does it compromise Him? Yes, absolutely! It actually makes him out to be a hypocrite. Bible memory 101 is John 3:16, “God so loved the world (but Mary Magdalene the most)…” Oh my bad, that’s not in the Bible. To think that Jesus “must have” had sex in the first place is such a human thing. “It just makes sense, that men everywhere have had the desire at least once, for a woman.” The people claiming this, purporting this, writing novels and making lay-readers’ minds spin with bewilderment, are those who simply don’t get the life of Christ in the first place. Here are a few points I’d like to make on this matter concerning the person Jesus Christ.

Jesus, the hypocrite?
Jesus’ message of love and salvation was equally for everyone. To admit that Jesus chose a favorite compromises his universal message and makes him out to be a hypocrite. To say “No, he didn’t love everyone equally, Mary the most, but pretty much equally, generally speaking” is worldly and finite thinking. Jesus was deity, in flesh. God incarnate! Immanuel!

Take Christ as the husband of the church model. Just as Christ is wed to his bride spiritually, us collectively the church, it would be selective, partial, theologically incongruous and hypocritical for him to actuate the spiritual understanding in physical form. The act of sex would be an infinitely insufficient act of union between Jesus and a woman, to exemplify his relationship with himself and the church. Why? Because eternity in perfect relationship with God himself, FAR ECLIPSES any sexual relationship one can ever have. That is what’s promised to us, his bride, the church. On top of that, there is no record, anywhere, that he ever got married. If he did have sex and never got married, obviously that is a sin, thus nullifying his ability to be offered as a perfect sacrifice, without blemish, as was Jewish law. If no atoning sacrifice, there would be no forgiveness of sin, and if no forgiveness of sin, God would be totally just in wiping out everything offensive (mainly, us) to his Holy presence. “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these the wrath of God is coming.” Colossians 3:5-6

Divine Lineage?
If Jesus had relations and a son birthed, that would create theological chaos, not to mention sexual immorality. What if the fountain of youth was found in a young woman, and the only way you could live forever was to have relations with her. She would be the most sought after young woman, the world would ever know. Men would do whatever they needed to get her to ensure their children were in the divine lineage, in order that they may secure life everlasting. This would be the case if salvation were by means of lineage, if Christ had relations and his offspring were the “sons and daughters” talked about in the gospels. When Paul said that we are adopted into the family of God, that could then come to mean, you are adopted by God, IF you insert yourself into the divine lineage. “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!” Galatians 4:6 The lines of theology would be blurred to utter confusion.

Jesus, the less-than sufficient God?
If Jesus had relations, it would admit that Christ had need. We are created, God is not. Everything comes FROM God. There was never, nor will there ever be an instance when God is not in need of something, when there is a void that we can fill for God. “Whom did he consult, and who made him understand? Who taught him the path of justice, and taught him knowledge, and showed him the way of understanding?” Isaiah 40:14 When God created Eve, it was because Adam was in need, he was lonely and had no way of expressing physical intimacy. We are beings who long for intimacy and companionship, and sex is one of those ways. “It is not good for man to be alone,” God himself said in Genesis. Crazy isn’t it? In the garden of Eden, when man had perfect relationship with God, one thing was missing. In the slightly modified words of a cheesy bygone movie, ladies “You complete [us].”

There are many other great resources out there on this subject. If this intrigues you, the person of Jesus Christ is worth digging deeper on. Read the gospels, read the heretical gospels (gospel of Thomas, Mary, Barnabas) and find out for yourself these things.